Jokes

1.Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Gorila!
Gorila who?
Gorila me a hamberger!!! 🙂

2.(this is a comfersation joke)There was on fish in the shower, one fish in the sink, and one in the toilet. The one in the shower asked the one in the sink “How was your day today?” and the one in the sink said “Fine” and the one in the shower said “Great”. Then the one in the shower asked the one in the toilet “How was you day today?” and the one in the toilet said “Horrible because first it rained then there was a wind storm and then a log fell on my head and last but not least there was a tornado!!! 🙂

3.One small mess for man,
one giant heap (of garbage)
for mankind! 🙂

4.Your so stuipid that you brout a spoon to the superbowl!
(this does not mean you)
5.Your so stuipid you starved in the super market! 🙂

6.Why did the banana visit the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well! 🙂

7. Yo mama is so stuipid that she tripped over a cordless phone!!!
(not your mama) 🙂

8.Your so stuipid you caught a live bat and brought it to your baseball game!!!
(not you) 🙂

9.STUDENT- Miss, Miss can I please go to the toilet??
TEACHER- Yes as soon as you say the ABC!
STUDENT- Ok, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
TEACHER- Where’s the P??
STUDENT- Running down my leg!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

10.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Amos
Amos who?
A mosquito 🙂

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Anudder
Anudder who?
Anudder mosquito! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

11.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Are….. you an owl? 🙂

12.Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so talk to it instead. 🙂

13.Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, just hang up. 🙂

14.I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message. 🙂

15.Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. 🙂

16.What do you get when you cross a telephone with a very big football player?
A wide receiver! 🙂

17. What do you het when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
FROST BITE!!! 🙂

18.A man is talking to God.

The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”
ME!!!!!!!! 🙂

19. What did the blanket say to the bed?
I got you covered! 🙂

Ha ha!!!

20.My wife wanted to go somewhere expensive for our anniversary, so I took her down the street to the Sunoco station.

I have my car towed to work because it’s cheaper than buying gas.

All in favor of conserving gasoline, please raise your right foot.

I saw a guy on the street corner, holding up a hat and a sign that said, “Wife and 2 Cars to Feed.”

For our vacation this summer, we’re thinking it will be cheaper to just mail the car. 🙂

21. A man was on a train, mumbling to himself, smiling, and then raising his hand. After a moment of silence, he would go through the same process … mumble, smile, raise hand, silence.

A woman was observing this, and after about an hour, she said, “Pardon me, sir. Is anything wrong?”

“Oh, no,” the first man replied. “It’s just that long trips get boring so I tell myself jokes.”

“But why, sir,” asked the woman, “do you keep raising your hand?”

“Well,” said the man, “that’s to interrupt myself because I’ve heard that one before.”

22. Yo Mama so stuipid she got it by a parked car!

23. Yo Mama gets so sweaty she makes it rain!

24. Yo Mama so stuipid she went to the M&M factory  and threw out all the W’s!!!

25. Yo Mama so stuipid she said are too to are not all day!

26. Yo Mama so stuipid she went around all day saying Yo Mama so dumb…

27.What did the religious carrot say to the greens?
Lettuce pray

 

🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂 😛 🙂